Three hours have passed, why hasn’t this girl text me back?! It all started three days ago in her backyard. A little booze and my group of 22 and 23 year old friends had regressed to middle school. When she spun the bottle and it landed on me I could feel our mutual excitement. After a long moist kiss, she paused and whispered, “we can do more of that later if you want.”

I did. And so I hung around as the party dispersed. That tipsy hookup, led to 72 hours of on and off “witty texting,” a common practice in which two people maintain a drawn out text conversation through the flirtatious exchange of sarcasm and wit. Not only does this intersperse laugh out loud bits of entertainment through out the day, but it is also an effective way of defusing post-hook up awkwardness.

My problem with “witty texting” is I’m not very good at it. I’m not witty. So when I had run out of my painfully calculated banter, I decided to cut to the chase: “I like you ____. Let’s play again soon.” What proceeded was a long, awkward silence, a silence that has lasted 4 weeks at my last count.

Apparently, I had broken one of the cardinal rules of courting: NEVER tell someone you like them! It is far better to disguise any emotions with aloofness, sarcasm, and long pauses before responding to phone calls or texts. Jaspar Weir has now explained this strategy to me; it’s called “Playing Games.”

Since being back in LA I have been actively dating/hooking up. But I have found the cruelest irony in this process. All of the girls I like don’t reciprocate. While the girls I’m neutral on or not attracted to, seem to call and text unremittingly. I thought I could write this off to the nature of dating or perhaps a run of personal bad luck, but now I realize it’s my fault for not “Playing Games.”

Under the new “Rules of Engagement” I must do the opposite of what I have done thus far, by showing little to no interest in those I am most interested in. The occasional funny text or Facebook poke will suffice. This should lure in whomever I am courting. Then the first few times they approach, I brush them away with, “I’m busy tonight with friends,” placing my “popularity” and “lack of interest” on full display. Finally on their last attempt to engage, I seize on the opportunity and behold a girl head over heals for me.

…Or not.

10 Comments
  1. July 23, 2008

    The issue is probably that you are more laid back and easy going to the people you are not attracted to. Thats my problem, I have a lot of my guy friends end up telling me they like me, only because I open up and let them know the “real me.” Just be yourself, as cliche as this may sound it is totally true.

    Also, with women, avoid “like” early on…at our age, we just want to have some fun, and saying like before she really gets to know you… that will scare any girl off. Good luck, Bryce!

  2. July 23, 2008

    Ha so very true.

    -Sajjad

  3. July 23, 2008

    Bryce, I just stumbled across this blog of yours and you are a great writer and I am thoroughly impressed. I happen to know you very well in some way, and in this sense, more than some other people might know you. But it was fleeting. So at the same time, I don’t know you at all. I still am slightly captivated anyways because you’re a very dimensional person with a lot of layers for someone to discover. However, speaking as someone who played a part in your personal courting life (although not recently), I can say that what you’re really like- what you claim goes against all the cardinal rules in that you’re actually honest and fear that you may scare the other away… Well I say don’t succumb to “playing games”, which people claim works. I saw a completely unexpected side of you and you are above playing games. I’m just basically parlaying what advice I know and can give and that is, the irony that you have found is just because they’ve been the wrong people. The right person doesn’t need to play games. If you’re wondering then, why that didn’t work or not even that, but what happened there… Well, you don’t even know who I am. Anyways, don’t ask what compelled me to write any of this. I just thought it might be of help to you. I don’t think you will have any idea who I am but maybe if I ever run into you, which I rarely do, and you just have this hunch that you know who I am.. Well that would be interesting. But I don’t know which city you’re living in and I’m not sure you know which one I’m living in. Keep writing. Maybe I’ll leave my two cents every once in a while. One hint that I will give you is this: you told me I was very difficult to read, almost mysterious…

  4. July 23, 2008

    Honey it ain’t just your generation…welcome to the wonderful world of relating to the opposite sex, the ones that are on your “playing field” anyway…I think it’s great you told that girl you liked her…hey, saved you a lot of time bantering which may have led up to just one night…which I presume your dear friend jaspar would define a victory…it’s all about what you want, the world and people are simply your mirror…have fun!

  5. July 23, 2008

    Bryce you are a gentlemen and a scholar. Your literary talents are well beyond your years, and your intentions are always genuine.

  6. July 23, 2008

    Erik, Jenny and Sajjad thanks so much for your kind words. Keep reading and I’ll keep writing.

  7. July 24, 2008

    I like the part where someone in Jaspar’s family made fun of him in your comments.

    I too know you intimately in a way that many people do not. Cub Scouts represent! We have never exchanged “flirty” text messages. That is because I never stoop to playing The Game. Also I am a man. But not playing The Game has enriched by soul and made me a lonely person who hates his life and only hooks up with women who are about the size and shape of Al Sharpton. How did that other girl post anonymously? I don’t even see that option. But anyway, here is a hint of my true identity… my name is James Guild.

  8. July 24, 2008

    Luckily I live in Spain and have had a girlfriend for 3 1/2 years…so no playing games for me anymore. That said I do feel your pain, not that I know what it’s like. I’m French; lived in the Uk for three years, Spain for two and France for 15 (with New Jersey getting 6) and I’ve never had to play games in order to possibly, hopefully one day be honnest with a girl, and telling her “I like you!!!”. I find that a bit absurd, as if, girls are the ones who want to play around more than guys…not wanting anything serious…as if “I like you” was going to change your life forever…
    Sounds like fun though!!!

  9. July 24, 2008

    Interesting reading, i want more posts like this from you 😉

  10. July 24, 2008

    Julien and Roy I’m honored to have an international audience.

    James you’re just plain hilarious.

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